Walt Disney World

Disney's Hollywood Studios

Hollywood Boulevard
Echo Lake
Streets of America
Pixar Place
Animation Courtyard
Sunset Boulevard

The fourth and final park we visited used to be known as the Disney-MGM Studios. I never thought I’d miss an awkwardly hyphenated name like that, but there was nothing more efficient and precise than calling it “MGM”. Mention those three letters in any amusement context, and everyone knew exactly what you were talking about. Now Hollywood Studios is DHS, not to be confused with the Walt Disney Studios (WDS) over in Paris. In conversation, it gets shortened to “The Studios,” though clearly a bit confusing considering Universal may take issue with that. Officially the name change is to highlight the inclusion of more than just MGM, but really it was the end of a contract.

Once you get past the nomenclature, what you find is likely the one of the best, most well-rounded studio parks out there. Comparisons to the Universal Studios in both Florida and Hollywood are of course inevitable, and so long as you’re willing to ignore Islands of Adventure, which is a separate gate of course, it stacks up quite nicely. That being said, I’m not one for these kinds of parks.

For one, the theme seems kind of lazy to me. Studios make movies, so by dropping in a ride based on a previously told story isn’t all that much of a challenge (relative to something novel, anyway). The originality and creativity of creating a back-story and new characters or themes is all gone.

Two, I like parks to take me to a place I’ve never been before. I’ve never been to Africa, I’ve never been to the future, I’ve never been back in time. What most of these movie parks offer is a visit to a place I’ve been (Hollywood) during a time I’ve lived (umm, now). Sure, there are New York and San Francisco and New England (over at Universal) sections, but I’ve certainly been those places too. In fact, only the old-timey Sunset Boulevard offers anything in the way of an escape into fantasy.

Three, there is a serious lack of authenticity. If you’re going to remove all the typical whimsy and treat your park like a working movie studio, have it be one. Now I’ve never been to USH, but the Orlando version, along with DHS and WDS offer little in the way of bona fide studio production. MGM used to film some odds and ends on site, and the animation of some Disney features was actually done here. But those were simpler times. Now we are just left with a re-creation of an explosive movie set and props from obscure movies lying around.

Even with all that going against it, DHS does offer a nice variety of attractions and experiences: thrill rides, stunt shows, theatrical performances, a dark ride, and one of the most beloved nighttime spectaculars. It’s filled out nicely over the past two decades into a full-day park, and formidable competition for Universal Studios – if only they hadn’t built Islands of Adventure.

Our two visits came in the evenings, so we never really had the run of the place. We were able to take advantage of Fastpasses on a few occasions, but here more than anywhere we had to deal with the most crowds (for the low season, anyway). Some poor timing led to the longest wait of the vacation (50 minutes!), there was a lot of schlepping to check out wait times, and we skipped a few “have ‘em in California” attractions. All in all, it was the park we were least efficient about, but it was also the one we were the least interested in. Interested still, for sure, and we certainly felt like we got all we wanted to in our relatively scant 9 hours of park time (compared to 13 at AK, 20 in Epcot, and 22 in MK), but it just wasn’t the priority.

Of all of the non-Magic Kingdom “Main Streets”, this is by far the most similar. Swap out the charm of Marceline, MO, and put in the hustle and bustle of Hollywood in its heyday. While the lack of on-site production is a drag, it seems some of the theme has shifted vaguely from watching movies to being a part of them, and that is apparent here. There are more than a few interactive characters to be found, and I mean that as a pejorative. These so-called “Citizens of Hollywood” put on a show and include guests in their antics. From directors, to agents, to divas, to starlets, it’s hard to walk down these blocks without stumbling through an impromptu street performance.

Once you do make your way to the center of the park, what used to be a clear view of the Chinese Theater is now obscured by the new icon for the park. I had no idea that the water tower wasn’t getting the job done, but now a gigantic, gaudy sorcerer’s hat (a la Fantasia) dominates the plaza. I can’t say I care for it, and I know I’m not alone. Sure, the water tower was underwhelming when compared to the castle, sphere, and now tree – but a giant hat? Its complete lack of cohesion with the story is befuddling. I don’t care if it was put up to celebrate 100 years of Disney - even that doesn’t make much sense.

The Great Movie Ride
The centerpiece attraction offers the only traditional dark ride experience in the park. Here you relive classic moments from some of the most iconic films of all time. The chimney sweep scene from Mary Poppins, the light post scene from Singing in the Rain, the munchkin scene from The Wizard of Oz are only a few. You travel through the familiar sets and animatronics act it all out. For some reason, there is a tour guide for each of the large vehicles, and they interact with live actors from a couple of the ride’s scenes. Unfortunately the dialogue and plot of this is pretty hokey, and probably quite torturous for repeat riders.

The settings are elaborate and they recreate the visuals quite effectively. Anyone who appreciates an escape to the theater will enjoy the impressive re-creations. The Wicked Witch is notably impressive, and reasonably mistaken for a live performer. It’s most certainly worth a ride, though I find it lacking in some heart. I suppose it goes back to the lack of originality. We’ve all seen these moments before, and sure it’s novel to see it come to life in three dimensions all around us, but I for one have come to expect more than just re-creation from Disney. So long as you get in the mode of seeing what’s already out there in a different way, you’ll enjoy this park, and you’ll certainly enjoy this ride.

Despite the low-speed nature, or perhaps because of it, this ride is seriously popular. The vehicles are huge, seating almost 70 people, though the motion is barely more than a crawl over the long (almost 2000 feet) course. At 22 minutes, it’s one of the longest rides out there, so the capacity may not be the best. As I’ve mentioned, we went with the flow of the crowds for our visits, and found a moderate 15 minute wait. I honestly expected it to be walk on since we visited it in the late evening, but nowhere were my predictions of crowd movements as bad as they were in this park. At least we were able to enjoy a few passing moments looking at some the memorabilia as well as a handful of classic movie trailers in the theater queue.

Did Not Experience:
The American Idol Experience – Regrettably this attraction was but a few weeks short of its premier. I regret this because, considering how inexplicably popular AI still is, it surely would have helped us out a bit with the crowds. Needless to say, were it open, it would surely still be listed right here.

Food:
Hot and Fresh Popcorn - We found this snack stand behind the wait time board halfway up the street and partook in some popcorn and a soda. This was one of the many critical early evening snacks that held us over from lunch until a “late” outside-the-park dinner, in this instance at Cap’n Jacks in Downtown Disney.

Shows:
None

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One of the very few memories of my original visit to just-opened MGM studios was in this area. It was 1989, stunningly some 20 years ago, and it was of a large green dinosaur where we got ice cream. Unfortunately it was closed up (perhaps for the winter), not that I would have gotten some anyway considering the weather. Instead this awkwardly themed area offers a handful of attractions with seemingly nothing in common. Perhaps because they all have sound?

Shows:
Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular
When they put the words “epic” and “spectacular” right in the name, you know it has to be good. For what it’s worth, this attraction was likely one of the first and one of the most elaborate shows of its kind, and the fact that it is still being performed 20 years later is unmatched. The fact that I remember it quite clearly from then is also a testament to its longevity.

Here we watch Indy and his team of stunt performers and technical specialists recreate some of the more memorable moments from the Raiders of the Lost Ark. The scenes include the temple escape, the bazaar street sequence, and the airfield fight. Much of the non-action portions of the show are hosted by a stunt coordinator, and there are even some fun interactions with audience participants. There are a lot of great stunts, rope swinging, fights, rolling boulders, and explosions aplenty. No question it’s worth a viewing, and given its age it’s not too hard to get in to see the 25 minute show. If you’re brave enough to join Indiana on stage, show up extra early for a casting call. If not, it’s still a fun time.

Did not experience:
Star Tours – You can put this right next to Honey I Shrunk the Audience in the “Disneyland has this, and we don’t even go on it there anymore” category. The sad thing is, these disappointing attractions actually are very close to each other in Tomorrowland at Disneyland. Boy, if there is one place where the original park gets beat by Orlando’s version, it’s in Tomorrowland. There wasn’t too much of a wait, but instead we opted to find that popcorn and grab a decent seat for Indiana Jones. We chose wisely.

Sounds Dangerous – A seasonally operated ride that was actually closed (unlike Carousel of Progress). Seeing this closed wasn’t nearly as devastating as that would have been; in fact I’m not sure we would have even bothered with it if it had been open. I vaguely remember being on the original version of this attraction in ’89, and I recall thinking it was less than stellar. I wonder if it’s been improved since then.

Food:
None

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What used to be only a New York section has expanded with the addition of some San Francisco themeing (i.e., a hilly backdrop). This is certainly the most backlot-like portion of the park, and actually was formerly accessible only through the studio tour tram ride. It’s since been opened to foot traffic, and with it, another collection of attractions has confusingly been grouped together with little cohesion. We, for the most part, skipped it – aside from the stroll to and from the stunt show, and an unsuccessful meandering late night hunt for food.

Shows:
Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show
The newer and considerably higher octane of the two stunt shows, LMA! is all about car chases and stunt driving. Akin to Indiana Jones, the premise follows the set up, execution, and breakdown of a series of intricate stunt sequences. But here, it’s all about high-speed action. Souped-up Mini’s fly around forward and backwards, along with motorcycles, jumps, explosions, and even a jet ski sequence thrown in for good measure.

A few scenes are shown, each a bit more complex than the last. They do take a fair amount of time to set up, and the prep will have you believe they’re actually shooting it (though the replays are clearly not live). The stunt coordinators describe much of what’s going on, and it’s an interesting look behind the scenes at how one long chase scene is made of up a series of shorter, individually set up maneuvers. But keep a sharp eye, much of the time is spent getting everything in order, and the action happens quite quickly.

It all takes place in a recreation of a French town on the Mediterranean. You can thank the folks at the Disney Studios in Paris for that, as they developed this entire attraction for their park, and it was later copied here. Unfortunately we didn’t have the time to see it when we were there in June, so it was great to get around to it back in the states. The 5000 seat stadium affords nice capacity, especially with multiple shows each day. There were only two during our visit, but with the modest crowds, there were still a few seats way up in the corners of the bleachers that were filling up close to showtime. However, standard early arrival rules are probably smart, especially in the high season.

Anyone who is onto cars will love this, and I was quite pleasantly surprised how enjoyable it was for those of us who can take or leave most Hollywood chase scenes. Really, the precision and skill the performers displayed was phenomenal, the choreography and timing of the maneuvers will drop your jaw, and there are a few surprises I don’t want to ruin that only add to the experience. Even I was skeptical, but I definitely recommend it.

Food:
None

Did not experience:
MuppetVision 3D – This one is also found back home, and we’re sure to make a token visit there. It’s always a walk-on (plus the wait for the next show), and we assume it was here too, though we didn’t even peek in. We do like this one well enough, not as much as Bug’s Life, but considerably more than Shrunk the Audience. Like Star Tours, it just wasn’t a priority, and I’m sure that doesn’t come as a surprise. We’ll catch it at California Adventure next time around, we promise.

Studio Backlot Tour – We were only slightly bummed to see this closed for refurbishment. After the extra lame experience on Disney Studios version on Paris, I was hoping to check out the original once again, which I haven’t ridden for some 20 years. But really, with no actual shooting, this is like a watching a stunt show without the stunts. This is the lame kind of stuff that’s soured me from visiting the movie park at Universal. Fortunately, there are still some great things to do elsewhere in this park.

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The newest section to the park is the mecca of Pixar-ification of Disney Parks. Sure, you’ve got Buzz Lightyear in Tomorrowland and the Nemo musical over at Animal Kingdom, but everything about this place screams Pixar. To some, this is going too far. To me, it’s not as though they’re rethemeing Cinderella’s Castle - at least this is a new section. Disney added Pixar to its feature production arsenal; why not add them into their parks? (But good lord, do not put their characters into Small World, that’s an abomination!)

Toy Story Midway Mania
Fortunately, the marquee (and currently, only) attraction for this small alley is the highly regarded Toy Story Midway Mania. Really, besides this ride and a shop or two, there’s not much here. Open to the public for not much more than a year now, this ride is still fresh in the consciousness of everyone who enters the park. Much like Soarin’ at Epcot, there is a buzz about it, and wait times to match. We overheard lots of excitement about these two attractions even outside their respective parks. As a matter of fact, while Soarin’ took the easy #1 spot as the most sought-after ride, TSMM was the obvious #2, considering we never saw an available Fastpass during our late afternoon arrivals.

Again, like Soarin’, our anticipation was tempered greatly by the fact that we’ve already ridden it – well, California Adventure’s version anyway. The ride system and experience is essentially identical, though the queue is an improvement here, unlike Soarin’. Dressed up like Andy’s room, guests feel about 14 inches tall as they stroll by all manner of toys and childhood diversions. The highlight of course is the interactive Mr. Potato Head barker, the most sophisticated animatronic character in Disney’s lineup.

Through the intricate queue (a welcomed change from the tedious switchbacks in Anaheim), past the 3D glasses pick-up, and before too long you’re on the wildly unique ride car, riders sitting in pairs back to back, with two cars per vehicle. It’s a bummer for an odd numbered group for a couple reasons – one, you can’t affect each other’s scoring opportunities, as each pair shares the same game screen, and two, it’s harder to get at some of the easter eggs (i.e., hidden game features) without coordination by both players. Still fun on your own, but for the competitive among us, try to take on a friend – though don’t forget that a little cooperation is mutually beneficial.

The premise of the ride couldn’t be simpler, and I think that’s part of why it’s so popular. You play arcade games. But the execution of it, virtual, 3D, interactive, along with the spinning cars and Toy Story characters takes it to the next level. It’s a good thing “mania” is in the title, any good round will be accompanied by a bit of exhaustion. Maxing out your points is obviously the goal, but a fun time can be had even if you don’t hit the high score.

There is an ever-so-slight concern that the novelty may wear off quicker here than the more traditional dark rides. For one thing, there’s not a lot to look at, you’re mostly blasting away at video screens, and the scenery in between is nothing to behold. There’s no lack of virtual detail for sure, but those classic dark rides offer something more tangible. This game is mostly about skill and scoring, and if those aren’t for you, I can see how it would be an underwhelming experience. Then again, there’s no rule that says Disney can’t offer something different to a different audience. While it may wear thin to some, it’s hard to deny how novel the experience is, and that alone will keep it popular for some time. And who says they can’t mix up the experience? It’s just a video screen, a lot easier to change the scenes as desired.

Considering we had just gotten a couple rides at Disneyland a few months before, we weren’t particularly interested in fighting an insane crowd to do so here. Sure, it’s a fun ride, but I’m not one to wait more than 30 minutes for something I’ve experienced so recently. (Besides, it’s not like it’s a coaster credit). We managed to find a wait just about that long, towards the end of an evening EMH session. Granted, we made a number of trips across the park simply to check the wait time, but considering it was posted at 60-80 minutes during these inquiries, I’m ok with a little legwork if it saves us that kind of time in line. As we exited, we found the wait had plummeted to only a few minutes seeing as we were just shy of park closing. For one reason or another, we passed. Maybe that’s a sign that it’s losing its novelty – as if we won’t happily wait another 30 minutes next time we’re at California Adventure.

Did not experience:
None

Food:
None

Shows:
None

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The original heart and soul of MGM still remains. Almost. The original park had your tram tour, your movie ride, and your stunt show. But to be able to take a peek behind the Disney machine and into the magic was an inspiring experience. Walt himself may have gone on to bigger and better things, but animation was always the cornerstone of his cooperation and the first of many outlets for his imagination. This was the part of the park where you could see it for yourself. Not anymore.

Walt Disney: One Man’s Dream
If you’ve gotten this far, you’re certainly more than aware how much respect, admiration, and pure fascination we have with Walt Disney. That’s not to say we hold him in any unnecessarily high esteem. Instead, it’s an understanding of how complicated, driven, ruthless, and idealistic he was. There’s obviously plenty to like about Walt Disney, but it’s also easy to appreciate that the method to his madness was infamous, sometimes controversial, and often even vilified.

But not surprisingly, much of the negative was left out of this jam-packed walk-through exhibit. The gallery includes amazing photos, tons of memorabilia, a good number of scale models and even recreations of scenes from Walt’s life. Spanning from his early life to what the company is today, the artifacts paint a vivid picture accompanied by the well organized and detailed informational placards. The exhibit is set up chronologically as you walk through, and organized into a number of different facets of Walt’s life: The Disney Brothers, Education, Trains and Transportation, Innovation, Animation/Live Action Films, and Audio-Animatronics, among others. These help paint a cohesive story around the stunning variety of Walt’s efforts.

If you have any inclination of appreciation for the history of the Disney cartoons, the movies, or the parks themselves, this will be quite the treat. The artifacts and replicas are as varied as they are remarkable – a multi-plane camera, the set where the Florida Project was unveiled, the Imagineers studio, just to name a few. The multimedia offerings were a bit lacking, but that was more than accounted for by the terrific 15 minute film/documentary that is run continuously in a sizable theater at the end of the exhibit. I would suggest not rushing when they announce the next show starting, unless you’re right there. You might be surprised how quickly the time goes when you’re trying to take everything in.

It’s worth noting that there is much talk that this attraction’s days are numbered. Premiering in 2001 as part of the 100 Years of Magic (a.k.a. what would have been Walt’s 100th birthday), this is likely one of those temporary milestone exhibits put together for major anniversaries, much like the similarly ill-fated First 50 Years which celebrates Disneyland’s history. Why there can’t be a permanent exhibition of this quality is beyond me, though one need only look down the alley to Pixar Place to see what’s theoretically in store for this space. I’m all for progress, but in this case only if it comes with a home for all of this great stuff. Move it to a different park, or move it to California, I don’t care, just leave it on display for the many of us who revel in this sort of thing.

Shows:
Voyage of the Little Mermaid
In something of a unique attraction, the story of this Disney classic is retold through a live stage performance, every 17 minutes. Built with the capacity of a 3D film, it has more of the feel of PhilharMagic than any of the live shows. But there are no glasses here, guests queue up, shuffle into the sizeable theater (hopefully through to the end of their row, filling every available seat!) watch the performance, and file out.

The show is an interesting mix of live actors and some impressive puppetry. Unlike Finding Nemo, the puppeteers are almost impossible to see, dressed in black and hidden by some effective lighting with only their colorful characters visible. Only when some mindlessly ignorant and inconsiderate guest decides to take a flash picture will you be able to see the performers black silhouettes. Instead, I highly recommend having a brain and putting the camera away. Ariel and Eric are portrayed by live actors, and Ursula is a half-impressive, half-cheesy puppet with the look of a Thanksgiving parade balloon.

The story is completely familiar, if abridged, and anyone who has a love of this movie will surely enjoy this attraction. I found it interesting, a novel take on this kind of attraction. In the end, it’s a unique portrayal of something we’ve probably all seen before, worth a visit for most guests, though perhaps highly regarded only by those with a predilection for the film. The standard reaction applies, an impressive effort by theme park standards, though you may find yourself with an Ariel who wouldn’t even make the chorus on Broadway.

Needless to say, this is quite popular – and it’s also in a high traffic area of the park. Combined, you’ll likely find something of a logjam both by the entrance and the exit, and lord help you if you’re nearby when a show lets out. There’s a good chance you’ll encounter a bit of a wait, and may even miss a seating. With our decent crowds we sneaked into some of the last remaining seats as the “Next Show” sign was advancing. Even with the negligible wait, the immediate area was something of a zoo. Supposedly there was Fastpass available, though we didn’t notice – not that we needed it, but it would have been nice to be able to avoid the crowds.

Food:
None

Did not experience:
Magic of Disney Animation – In one of the most disappointing corporate moves to ever affect the Orlando resort, the animation team has been pulled out of the Studios and sent packing to Southern California. Well, those that weren’t fired anyway. You used to be able to take a guided tour of this hive of creativity and watch animators create Disney films first-hand. I can’t overstate how exciting this was for me as a child, and how fascinating I would have found it as an adult. Unfortunately business is business and consolidating the animation team and pulling the operation from the park was deemed a worthwhile corporate reorganization, never mind how much it diminished what little remained of MGM’s authenticity.

Journey Into Narnia: Prince Caspian – This was a walk-through with scenes and props from the movie. Considering it was a movie we had never seen nor had any interest in doing so, this experience didn’t make the cut. I wonder if they’d consider giving the One Man’s Dream attraction a home here instead.

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Probably the most imaginative and uniquely themed (not to mention popular) area of the park is home to two of the most potent thrill rides in all of Disney’s parks. As far as headliners go, it’s like having Space Mountain and Thunder Mountain next to each other, so you can imagine the chaos in the area. Then again, at a place like Disney World, thrill seekers aren’t necessarily all that common, so you’ll still probably find a more intimidating bottleneck in Fantasyland.

Add to that a great stage show, one of the most beloved nighttime extravaganzas in decades, and the crisply executed “Hollywood in its heyday” theme, and you’ve got the most complete, well-rounded, and cohesive section in the entire park. Compared to most of what’s here, that’s not saying much, but there’s little question that this is the place to be.

Twilight Zone Tower of Terror
Few theme park attractions can claim a level of rich themeing, intricate detail, and immersive story that even approaches the Tower of Terror. Throw in the fact that it offers a more-than-satisfying, if not startling physical rush, and you’ve got a super-headliner the on the scale of Space Mountain or Everest. In something of a rare case, Disney got it right the first time around. Just like Pirates in Disneyland, the added depth found in the original has been left out of all subsequent versions. Instead of adding to and enhancing the newer installations, it’s the initial incarnation that stands alone as the best of the breed thanks to its added dimension, and I mean that quite literally.

The attraction has arguably one of the best storylines of any amusement ride ever built. Basing the general theme on the aura and mystery of the Twilight Zone, throw in the mystique of a tinsel town landmark fallen from grace and top it off with an elevator ride into a new dimension. It’s that last feature that sets this version apart from all others, and why the original comes out on top.

It starts with a walk through the garden, under the portico, and into the lobby. If you’re lucky, you’ll zip right by all this, though even if there is a modest wait you’ll move quickly and be given a chance to soak up your surroundings. If anything, the clever posted wait time of 13 minutes is a great sign. Everything around you is in lush detail and is entirely convincing of the period.

The lobby is especially remarkable, probably one of the most intricate queue areas out there – a Mahjong game is timelessly preserved, luggage waits for a bellhop who won’t come, and on what must have been a comfortable spot on the couch, a newspaper from the very day these events occurred in 1939 rests on the arm. Needless to say, there are dozens of subtle references to the TV series, including the name of the inspector on the elevator certificate as a former character, along with the certificate number of 10259, the day the show first premiered.

So far everything is the same for the French and Californian versions, as is the case for the pre-show in the library, the basement queue, and even the first portion of the ride. The disappearing guests mark the beginning of the thrills for those, but here things are just getting underway. A few more floors up, your elevator actually moves out of the shaft passing through a wild dark ride scene which rates about a 9.5 on the creepiness scale. I’m not sure if this scene has changed, or if it’s just been so long since I last rode, but it felt a bit different. The overall effect was much the same though, to surround you some eerie special effects and almost make you forget about the imminent plummet.

The drop intensity is much the same as the other versions, though here the sequence is completely random – and may even include a couple of surprising fake-outs. I personally find this to be on the tamer side of the thrill ride spectrum. There are certainly moments of weightlessness as you briefly drop faster than gravity, but the motion is smooth and graceful. The only unpleasantness would come from an inherent dislike or discomfort with freefall. If you dread that feeling in your stomach, you may want to skip this one. The vehicles make one final turn and you’re released into the hotel’s service corridors and into the gift shop.

In all, the dropping experience lasts all of 15 or 20 seconds, not too much longer than your average amusement park freefall ride (though the extra and random drops have added to that greatly). But in the environment created, your experience goes way beyond your average drop ride experience. The attention to detail and clever richness of the surroundings will give little wonder as to why many consider this the best attraction Disney has ever created. I’m not sure I would personally go that far, but there’s definitely enough here, both in terms of themeing and thrill, that keeps me and lots of other people coming back.

With multiple shafts and vehicles, the ride does a good job churning through guests. We seem to have great luck with Towers of Terror, rarely waiting more than 20 or 25 minutes, and we didn’t even find that here, despite the moderate crowds. A Fastpass is definitely not a bad idea to be sure; though make sure you check out the ride around the corner before getting one to see where you’d be saving more time. A word of caution, this is one of the attractions where a Fastpass still requires a modest wait, as it dumps you into the pre-show room (a la Test Track). Unless there is a wait in the garden and lobby, it’s not really worth it.

Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster
Finally, a bone fide roller coaster comes to a Disney park in the US. Now, if only it wasn’t all about Aerosmith. The first looping attraction after Space Mountain in Paris, it follows in its footsteps by offering a pretty intense experience. It also continues a great tradition of enclosed coasters, allowing the themeing elements to be precisely controlled as with more traditional dark rides.

But unlike Space Mountain, the theme leaves something to be desired. First, maybe I’m too old (or too young), but Aerosmith doesn’t do a whole lot for me. Why they were specifically chosen is beyond me. Aside from any issues you may or may not have with the band itself, what a recording session and concert have to do with Hollywood is beyond me. Yes, LA has a great music scene, but in an area of the park that highlights the glamour of a bygone era, it’s most certainly out of place.

Your tour begins inside a recording studio, though more likely outside in an uninspired queue if there’s any semblance of a wait. The pre-show room is dressed up as a studio, with the band on the other side of the glass. The premise is awkwardly exposed: they’re late for a show and in a hurry, but don’t want to leave us, their supposed fans, behind. We’re given a lift in a stretch limo and to be whisked speedily across town to the show.

It’s a slightly different theme than the version that opened in Paris. If anything, the French version (though spoken in English) is more loosely themed – the pre-show has the band planning a soundtrack for the coaster they’re designing, and the ride area is themed as though it is on stage. This simpler premise seems less convoluted than the original, though neither hits the mark especially well.

But both versions more than make up for it with the ride experience. The track is a clone, and despite the differences in theme (flying pass road signs and palm trees here, and show lights and concert effects in Paris), both do a great job of interacting precariously close with the props. It is surprisingly smooth, though the older version can’t be blamed if it has a slight bump to it in places. Considering the ride was built by a company known for roughness, and their Space Mountain in Paris hasn’t aged well at all, we were more than pleased.

If you can get past the cheesiness of the theme, you’ll still likely enjoy the immersion – and if thrill rides are at all your taste, you won’t be disappointed. We were stunned to find such short lines for the Paris version over the summer (when the parks were packed), so the moderate wait of 20 minutes or so we usually saw here was quite reasonable.

Unfortunately there was a complete debacle as we entered the queue with the wait time showing 20, and ended up waiting 50 minutes. We’re not entirely clear what happened – most likely a show had just let out and slammed the standby line before we entered and the Fastpass line after us. Insult was added to injury as we were trying to squeeze in the ride before watching a showing of Beauty and the Beast nearby. We were cutting it close if the wait time had been accurate, so we were pretty frustrated when we walked by the amphitheater immediately after our ride and the show was half over.

It was a painfully clear reminder that while the posted wait times are precise, they are precisely the amount of time that someone who is just getting on the ride waited. That is, the time you see overhead as you enter the standby line is how long the wait was for someone who has just completed it, not a direct indication of the crowd in front of you. While they are generally accurate, there is definitely a delay as the wait times are underestimated as they build in the morning and overestimated in the late evening as crowds lighten. But more importantly, they aren’t indicative of random spikes. What we experienced was definitely a spike. While we never saw a wait time here that high again, we were sure to use Fastpasses the rest of the way.

Food:
Rosie’s All-American Café – We managed to hit at least one fast-food counter service restaurant in each of the parks, and while we have no specific qualms about doing so, it was odd to eat at the same place twice, especially considering we weren’t planning on eating there even once. The Studios isn’t especially known for fine cuisine, though there are a handful of places to get a decent quick meal. We were saving our table service meals for places a little more special, so that eliminated the highlights of the park.

But as dinner time came and went as the park closed and an EMH session started, we were desperate for anything. The Commissary had closed and the Sci-fi Café and 50’s Diner looked way too family-friendly for us, and possibly not worth the money. We made a full trek around the park before we found Rosie’s open, among a handful of quick, cheap places – all right next to each other – that were still open. In an attempt to stave off further food rage, we grabbed the standard fare of chicken fingers and a kid’s meal (for the small-portion-inclined of us). Quick, cheap, and food, it fulfilled our requirements.

The funny/annoying thing is that almost the same thing happened to us the next day. We headed out of the Magic Kingdom a good bit after lunch time (i.e., 2pm), and figured we’d catch a bite and then see the Beauty and the Beast performance we had missed the evening before. We did not, however, figure on a 30 minutes monorail breakdown/delay. As we waited for a ride to the TTC, we saw both the meal and our tightly orchestrated itinerary once again slipping away. We eventually made it to Hollywood Studios, with little time and patience to scout out a new venue. Instead, I confirmed that food was allowed in the amphitheater, we got essentially the same meal as dinner the night before, and dined as we waited for the show to being. There certainly was no intent to eat at the same place twice (in a row, no less), but these were desperate times. Besides, you can’t go wrong with fried chicken and french fries, it’s a wonderfully beige meal.

Shows:
Beauty and the Beast
I assure you that the highlight was not the luckily timed meal eaten in the stands, though it was nice to be able to get some decent seats by entering early and still making use of the time. And chance you have to make use of waiting time like this shouldn’t be overlooked. Despite being completely starving and a little miserable, it seemed to have worked out ok in the end.

Here the early crowd wasn’t quite as bad as most of the other stage shows. We arrived with about 20 minutes to go and found a nice seat in bleachered but covered amphitheater. It’s a sizeable theater, but nothing compared to Fantasmic’s nearby venue. I would imagine summertime crowds would flock here for some shade, so try to stay cognizant of early arrival habits here too. I was right in thinking the 45 minute line-up wasn’t necessary in our case, though it seems like they let you in to sit far in advance, which is nice.

The show is probably the most traditional stage performance of the lot: no puppets, no audience participation, and no bubbles. Like most of the others, it’s an abbreviated retelling of the plot from the film, with the same characters and a handful of songs. The costumes are great and more special after having been to the design facility the day before, and who doesn’t love the music. Like the other abridged shows, it does feel a little rushed, but you get a good feel for the breadth of the story, if not the depth. There’s no doubt it gets the same rating – way short of Broadway, but way beyond your typical amusement park production. It’s definitely recommended – not particularly remarkable, but a plenty enjoyable way to take a load off and still get pummeled by some Disney magic.

Fantasmic!
Let the nighttime spectacular to end all nighttime spectaculars begin. Assuming you have a seat. Assuming you got there over an hour early. Don’t get me wrong, I love this show. But after several visits to Disneyland where we were able to find a spot a mere 10 minutes before showtime for what is widely considered the better version, getting stuck with standing room only a hour before it started kind gets you off on the wrong foot.

So much for the low season. I had heard the warnings, and read the guidebooks. They stress arriving at least an hour in advance to have any chance to see the show, so I figured in January getting there then would work out pretty well. Not a single seat open, and believe me, we looked. It wasn’t as though people were saving spots for others, the benches were packed. By the time everyone was asked to squeeze together to make room, we were too busy guarding the standing-room-only spots we had staked out.

Fine, ok, it was the off-season and the performance was only offered twice a week. We had chosen Spectromagic over this the first time around, so here we were. I’m not one to blame a park for sheer crowds, it was a huge stadium, and there was a decent standing section. I’ve heard plenty of stories about similar debacles at Disneyland of not having enough room to move in Frontierland, let alone having a spot to see the show. I guess the off-season there is just lighter than it is here.

All such concerns were temporarily forgotten once the show started. For those who have never seen Fastasmic, there is a good chance it will blow your mind. The combination of pyrotechnics, live performers, sweeping music and water effects is unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. I don’t mean to over-hype it, but this show has been a sensation from the beginning, and for good reason. The creativity, complexity, and storytelling provide one of the most unique and remarkable spectacles you will ever see anywhere. There are a few attractions you can look at and get a strong feeling that Walt Disney would be proud, of course you’ve got the Mountains and Tower of Terror, and Fantasmic certainly is among the top of the list.

On a personal note, I didn’t see this for the first time until 2007 at Disneyland. That’s not to say I lack an appreciation for it not having grown up remembering it, if anything seeing it as a adult makes me appreciate it more, but it does seem to lack a personal nostalgia akin to the Main Street Electrical Parade. Granted, in 10 years I might feel completely different about it, especially as soon as they start to mess with it. For now, in my mind, it’s a great show: fun, different, and over-the-top in a way that is quintessentially Disney.

The story really isn’t the important part, it is pure spectacle. Mickey uses his imagination and we are visited by all sorts of characters from the Disney vault – the princesses, The Jungle Book, Dumbo, and surprisingly prominent is Pocahontas. Unfortunately, the villains team up to take over his dreams, providing a handy conflict, and Mickey overcomes them with his awesomeness. I’m not entirely clear on the details, but like I said, if you like fireworks, explosions, great music, and Disney characters, you won’t really care about why it’s all happening.

But I can’t just leave it there. It goes without saying that when the two US resorts offer the same attraction, comparisons will be made. I hate to sound like a broken record, but the Orlando version comes up short. Not overwhelmingly, but noticeably. Of course this is my opinion, but if you’ve actually read this far, I’ll go ahead and assume you care about my take (for some reason).

First, the venue, while enormous and stunning for its vastness, holding room for almost 10,000 guests including standing room – it’s surprisingly plain. The seats are metal bleachers, the steps and walkways are concrete. Yes, the man-made mountain across the man-made moat onstage is impressive, and that’s where our attention is focused during the show, but go back over to MuppetVision or Country Bears and you’ll see how venue can immerse. Yes, this is much bigger and therefore harder to theme, but Disney has hurt itself by raising the thematic bar so high.

Really, the true issue with the venue is that it’s not part of the park. In Disneyland, the show is performed on Tom Sawyer’s Island and in the Rivers of America. The midways were specially designed to provide a slope for stadium-style viewing while still serving the important functioning of supporting guest traffic during the day. The show light towers retract into the ground so as not to seem out of place. Yes, the lighting structure at Hollywood Studios is impressive, but the setup lacks the complete genius that Disneyland had no choice but to implement because of their space requirements. Disney World has unquestionably been blessed with space, but here it served to make them lazy.

In fairness, it wouldn’t make any sense to try to cram this show into Frontierland at the Magic Kingdom. Considering the popularity of the park and the show, the combination would have been an operational nightmare. If anything, moving it to this park and giving it its own venue was a shrewd and calculated move. Not only was an already beloved park spared gridlock, but one of the smaller parks was given a new super-headliner (i.e., a reason to buy an extra ticket or a park-hopper). Smart for business, absolutely. Lacking in charm and intimacy, yes. See, I can be aware of the logic behind why Disney does these things and still disapprove.

The show itself also has a similar level of disappointment – nothing systemic, just falling short in a few places. The lack of the Mark Twain is sad, and not having the Peter Pan scene (taking place on the Columbia, no less!) leaves something to be desired. The focus on Pocahontas is just confusing. I realize it’s nice to get the lesser films some visibility, but this seems completely disproportionate to how much people actually care about it. Also, I completely get the use of Steamboat Willie, and realize it was black and white, but for the grand finale to take place on a massive prop that has no color whatsoever is a little anticlimactic.

Maybe this is a bit nit-picky; I have no problem admitting that. But what followed at the end of the show was truly worthy of a serious grievance. After the festivities are over, everyone gathers their souvenirs, their kids, and tries to squeeze out the single, narrow walkway back into the heart of the park. What a nightmare, imagine 10,000 people trying to pass through a bottleneck the size of your living room. I’ve seen Google Earth, I realize the stadium is outside the borders of the park, but there has to be something that can be done to manage the massive crowd a little better.

I’m not sure if they’re trying to make sure people walk past all the shops in the way out, but they certainly didn’t want people use the bathrooms just outside the walkway. After I walked out of one with no wait, cast members were telling people it was full and directing them to the ones down Sunset (which were probably much more crowded). Weird, c’mon Disney, lighten up. Not that we were ahead of the crowd by any means, but the forced separation did actually make getting buses easier, which was my expected concern. Maybe that’s why they did it.

The sum total of the DHS Fastasmic experience was overall fun, though slightly less enchanting and noticeably less bearable logistically. I suppose that matches up quite consistently with most things that Disney World and Disneyland have in common. It’s like Space Mountain - there is no reason not to love what you have here, but if you are lucky enough to see how Disneyland does it, you’ll be in for even more of a treat.

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