Trip Report

Marne-la-Vallee, France

Monday, June 30th
Weather: Sunny and warm
Crowds: Heavy

I’m sure not every visitor to Paris would dare waste a day (or more) of exploring this amazing city with a side trip to Disneyland, but I am certainly not that visitor. In case you missed my Disneyland trip report, I’m all about the Disney theme parks, and for me, no trip to France is complete without a visit. This marked my third visit to the resort (2001, 2003), and the first to the site’s second park, Walt Disney Studios.

Much has been said, good and bad, about this particular installation, and both sides have their points. The bad: a cheesy insult to the history and culture of France, a theme park run by and patronized by Europeans who have relatively less experience with this form of entertainment. The good: newer, more visually appealing, rides that are noticeable steps up from their US counterparts.

This is not to say that Disney gets a pass because this resort is in Europe – but let’s just say I’ve had to secure my own safety harness enough times in Italy, Holland, Belgium, and elsewhere in France to have a slightly lower set of operations expectations than I would for Disney parks in the US. Point being, I’ve come to accept some of the bad while focusing on all this resort has going for it.

And you will see exactly what I mean as soon as you arrive on site, the beautiful entry gardens and fountains with the Disneyland Paris hotel towering above. Inside the park, the castle is as authentic as Disney can get – the steel and fiberglass versions in Anaheim and Orlando wouldn’t cut it, this one is made of stone. Europe invented castles, and Disney was not going to let a cheap copy stand as the icon for the park. The landscaping, architecture, and scenic views are stunning.

We left Paris proper right at 8am, giving us plenty of time to get there from the west side of town and get our bearings at the resort for the opening at 10am. After a quick Metro connection, we were on our RER A train to Marne la Vallee. The tickets are about E6.50 each way, or roughly $10 for the 35-45 minute ride, depending on where in Paris you start.

The plan was to start off the day in the Magic Kingdom, with a visit to Walt Disney Studios midway through the day, then back the MK. Hey, gotta make use of those park-hopper tickets, right? I had bought them online before we left the States, they give you a 10% discount if you pre-select the date of your visit. What happens if you can’t make that date? I have no idea, and had no interest in finding out.

Because they were printed-at-home tickets, we would need to receive a separate Fastpass card, which is given to you at the designated entry turnstiles. With passes in hand, we made our way up Main Street – which is a very surreal experience being in a place so familiar when you are so far from home. We came to the wait time board, just to the left of the central hub and noticed a few Fantasyland rides already opened, a good 20 minutes before 10am. With already a 40 minute wait for Peter Pan, we chose to stick to our guns and aim for Space Mountain. No such luck though, down for technical reasons. A quick check with the cast member at the post fortunately revealed it would be a temporary delay.

I don’t like improvising on such a busy day, but there wasn’t much of an option. The marquee rides get most of the attention, and there are fewer low profile diversions to keep people entertained here. We followed the crowd gathering by Frontierland and joined the rope-drop rush to Thunder Mountain. Taking advantage of the early morning fastpass black-out, we found a somewhat quicker route in the left line, which would shortly be closed off. We were on our first ride right around 10:30, with most of the time fighting our way through the bottleneck at the queue entrance. I’ve never felt so much like a grain of sand in my life.

That’s another important thing to keep in mind – many Europeans have difficulty with the concept of a queue. The British know how to queue, and the Germans might, too. The French clearly do not get the concept. It’s not so much line jumping we see in the US – holding spots or catching up. It’s simply that they will walk right past you if there is room to get around you. It’s almost as though it’s your fault for not passing the person in front of you. Needless to say, wide queues were simple painful. Oh, I can’t forget to mention the smoking. In queues. Constantly. It was awful. The park gets an F for the lack of enforcement of both of these basic park rules.

All queue concerns were forgotten once on the ride, and we were reminded how these newer versions of the classics are much improved. Thunder Mountain actually runs its course on an island in the middle of the River of the West – which means extended tunnels to both start and finish the ride. From beginning to end, great mine train action – the highlight of course being all those wacky animals you fly by on your way. You’ll notice something new every time you ride.

Wanting to take advantage of making the loop around the park, we grabbed fastpasses for Thunder Mountain again right away, since we’d be headed right past it on the way to Adventureland – after a ride on Phantom Manor at the dead end (no pun intended, I swear!) of the section. PM is a wonderful upgrade from the US versions, which focus on humor and camp to make it no-so-scary. While this version is not exactly terrifying, the focus has definitely shifted to a much more macabre tone. You’ll hear a wonderful full orchestra version of the Haunted Mansion theme music, all the same tricks, and especially impressive animatronic presentations of the phantom himself. This is another Disney classic redone, and definitely for the better – even if the story is a little unclear.

Back past Thunder Mountain and it was time to redeem our fastpasses. Good thing, too, the standby time had swollen to 60 minutes before our ride, and 80 minutes after. It was not looking like it was going to be an easy day. After giving it a second spin, we moved on to Adventureland, and figured Indiana Jones would be no problem. I’m going to blame the recent movie release for the wait time, 45 minutes. For some reason, the fastpass time slot was only 25 minutes away. It was pretty clear here that many people didn’t understand the concept – though that’s true for plenty of people at the US parks as well. We grabbed a pair, and moved on the Pirates of the Caribbean, where we found a wonderfully short 10 minute wait.

We eventually stumbled through the exceptionally dark queue and were able to enjoy yet another modern interpretation of a classic. Here we found the reverse order of the original Disneyland version, which I had always complained was backwards. First the pirates attack by sea, then they plunder, then they die along side their treasure. The lift to start is a little unusual, but it is made up for by the final drop into the exploding armory – a very nice touch.

With our fastpasses we headed back to Indiana Jones and suffered through its awfulness. Fortunately, the wait time was only 15 minutes, so we got the entire experience over with quite quickly. Thanks for nothing, Intamin. Oh well, at least it was up and running.

As expected, Fantasyland was mobbed, just ridiculously crowded. Peter Pan had a 40 minute standby time, and the fastpasses weren’t available until much later in the day. Even the lesser dark rides had 20 minute waits. These were expendable, at least for the first loop of the day – we still had a lot of ground to cover.

Our consolation was It’s a Small World, which seemed slightly shorter than the California version. On the plus side, it was the non-seasonal version, which I had not seen in any park since my last visit to this installation. That’s what happens when you keep going to Disneyland in January.

There was an odd little shortcut into Tomorrowland, popping out right next to Star Tours. We passed by with hardly more than a glance, it’s not a ride I’ll wait more than 5 or 10 minutes for, so 40 minutes was out of the question. Instead it was a tossup between fastpass and standby for Space Mountain and Buzz Lightyear. We ended up grabbing a fastpass for the latter, and waited the 30 minutes for Space Mountain.

Nowhere else is the Disneyland Paris attraction upgrade as apparent as on Space Mountain. I was blown away during my previous visits and eager to see what the rethemeing makeover had in store. In the time since my last rides, it had gone from the Jules Verne “From the Earth to the Moon” tale to an intergalactic space flight beyond the moon. The ride structure was the same, but the special effects and onboard music were completely revamped.

I wasn’t too impressed. The Victorian charm has been replaced with some pretty generic effects. I miss the smiling moon that became angry, I miss going into the craters. The new score is good and all, but its space-age theme isn’t nearly as sweeping as the old version. On top of those small disappointments, the roughness was hard to ignore. It was never glass smooth before, but I don’t remember getting banged around quite as much. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a great coaster – easily the best Space Mountain you’ll find, but just didn’t live up to what I remember.

Feeling a headache coming on, I stopped by a few shops looking to buy Advil or some such. No dice, apparently I’d have to visit first aid if I wanted to score some drugs. Luckily, that was nearby, though I wasn’t expecting a smooth nor quick interaction. Basically I walked in, said I had a headache and asked for something for it. The nice lady asked if I had taken anything for it yet, and then gave me a couple over-the-counter pain relievers. All I had to do was sign for it. I know this seems random for a trip report, but I think it’s worth pointing out how easy that was. Can you imagine any park in the US doing that??

Needing a longer break, lunch was at the nearby Videopolis. It’s half fast food, half theater. There they show a live stage version of The Lion King, but between performances they had classic Disney cartoons. Boy, do they bring back some memories. The meal was ok, pretty typical park burger.

No time for a show today, we used our fastpasses for Buzz Lightyear next. It seemed at least on par with the Disneyland version, perhaps even a bit longer. I had some good luck score-wise here; a delay found me camped in front of a high value target. Unfortunately, no prize or recognition, just the satisfaction of a job well done I suppose – or at least the relief of not losing to a girl.

Having hit most of the highlights, it was time to head over to Walt Disney Studios. We left the park using one of the two clever and convenient arcades that run parallel to Main Street. They’re a handy way to pass by all the craziness that is shopping at Disney. We were out the gate and on our way.

This is my first new Disney park since California Adventure in 2007, and my expectations were even lower. Fortunately, the main attractions were worth looking forward to and we made our way over. Similar to Anaheim, the second gate is nearby, though around the corner instead of directly across.

It’s been nine years since my last visit to what was then the Disney-MGM Studios, and this park brought many memories back. One big difference is that the entrance takes you into what looks like a huge soundstage. It’s a very strange setup, as soon as you enter the park, you are inside what is the equivalent to this park’s Main Street: shopping, restaurants, all done up to look like the golden age of Hollywood. To be honest, I was impressed, I’ve never seen anything like it before.

We weren’t about to dawdle with non-rides though. We checked the wait time board, and saw that Crush, the only non-fastpass ride we cared about, had an hour wait. Without much to lose we figured we’d check back later – as if positive thinking would reduce the wait time. That has yet to work.

Instead we saw that the brand new (to them) Tower of Terror had run out of fastpasses but somehow had only a 30 minute standby wait. We grabbed a fastpass instead for Rock-n-Roller coaster, even though that one only had a 15 minute wait, but it was worth it just in case. Who knew when one of the many shows we were skipping would let out.

ToT is identical to the California Adventure version, which is to say you only move up and down in the towers. That’s still fine by me, I’m a big fan of even this abridged version. We had a bit of a shadeless wait outside the lobby, but fortunately the basement queue area was all but empty. It was nice to finally have a ride in English. To humor the French – they are the ones who financially support these parks after all - many of the rides have dialog in French. Mostly notably, not a word of English is spoken on Phantom Manor – although it the stretching room script follows the US version quite closely. Tower of Terror was great, as always.

Next up was a somewhat surprising Disney first for me. RnR was just short of premiering at MGM in 1999, and I haven’t been back since. Hardly a novel coaster at this point, I was glad to finally get one under my belt. While some of the themeing is apparently different from the Orlando installation, the ride itself is the same, and coincidentally a clone of a coaster I’ve already been on – what was called Superman at what used to be Six Flags Holland. That by itself, outside, in the middle of a field was a fun coaster for sure, and I was excited to see what Disney would do with it.

Despite the odd and outdated Aerosmith tie-in, the experience was top-notch. Our fastpasses only saved us a few minutes as we met up with the queue in the pre-show room. Again, I could pass on the recording studio theme itself, but the props, lighting, and even the audio really added to the experience. Another plus, they were sending trains so quickly, I thought they were running dual stations.

Just a few minutes later, we were on – and I love how the train launches right next to the queue, it really builds the anticipation. A quick 3-2-1 countdown and we were off. Great special effects, decent music, and a thrilling and surprisingly smooth ride. All-around great execution. Who says Disney can’t do thrills? How does this ride not get more acclaim? Underrated!

We figured we’d grab another fastpass for it, seeing as it was the only one available in the entire park. A quick visit to Crush found the same hour wait, so we walked back to the Backlot Studio Tram. Now this may seem like a lot of walking, going back and forth across the park just to check on a ride. But I should point out, this park is tiny – as in miniscule. They do a good job of packing a decent number of attractions considering the size, but as with all of the “new” Disney parks, it has/had a reputation for lacking rides. Tower of Terror definitely helped, to be sure.

The tram ride was pretty unimpressive. The Catastrophe Canyon was the only redeeming feature, lots of water and fire there. Beyond that, it was barely worth the 10 minute wait. I frankly don’t remember how it compares to the Orlando version. To make up for the lull, we hit RnR one more time.

Now this park had a decent bit more to offer – an Armageddon themed special effects show, a motor stunt show, Cinemagique and Animagique, even a few flat rides – but considering our moderate interest and our short timeline, we could only spare time for one more ride, the surprise gem of the park.

The posted hour wait time for Crush was steady, so we figured we’d just have to deal with it. Still, with a good 90 minutes until the park closed, it would likely have gotten worse before it got better. Besides, we wanted more than a couple hours to make another loop in the Magic Kingdom.

The queue itself was pretty unremarkable, which for Disney is a bit of a surprise. Most of the time was spent in one shaded (fortunately) long back-and-forth queue. The good news was we were inside the ride building in just over half an hour, and there isn’t much more to wait once in there. Inside is a nicely themed wharf, right out of Finding Nemo, where you board your turtle shell. All told, the wait was just about 45 minutes – thanks mostly to the non-stop loading - and it was completely worth it.

We had recently been on the Find Nemo Submarine Voyage at Disneyland, so many of the theme elements were familiar, the seagulls yelping “mine, mine” every few minutes, the video screens of Nemo and friends, and some of the scary fish and sharks. The ride itself is a heavily customized and themed spinning wild mouse, with 2 pairs of seats sitting back to back. Don’t worry about missing any of the themeing, they double everything up for both forward and backward seats coming out of the station.

The first part of the ride starts with a small lift right out of the station, back outside into a little drop that gets things going. You go right back inside, sans spinning, into the pre-lift “dark ride” show, with all those wonderful elements I just mentioned. They continue as you climb the lift, and then you are off into the “East Australian Current”.

The ride action is great, dips, drops, curves. The spinning is definitely noticeable, but not nauseating. Maybe not the most thrilling coaster, but definitely exhilarating, and a heck of a lot more fun than any run-of-the-mill wild mouse you’ll ride.

Totally passing on getting any chance of the full Walt Disney Studios experience, we headed back to the Magic Kingdom with a few remaining hours. There were plenty of small things we had missed, but our priority was, of course, to go on the Disney classics one more time. Walkthroughs like the Nautilus or Sleeping Beauty’s Castle or Alice’s Labyrinth would be been nice – but they just weren’t the priority.

First thing once in the park, yet again, was to check the wait time board. No surprises, everything we were looking to get on was manageable, though I was stunned to see a 110 minute wait for Indiana Jones! We figured we’d want to end the day on Space Mountain and it made sense to grab a fastpass, if they had any left. They did, and with a window from 7:55 to 8:25, it looked like we’d be able to squeeze in another ride or two following.

We headed back to Frontierland to retrace the loop we made in the morning. We started with Phantom Manor, barely a 5 minute wait and skipped Thunder Mountain (at 80 minutes). We didn’t even look in the direction of Indiana Jones, and instead walked on Pirates. Hoping things would have improved in Fantasyland seems pretty naïve now, Peter Pan was still over 30 minutes and even the lesser Pinocchio and Snow White were around 20. We thought it over on the Tea Cups, with only about a 10 minute wait, and then completely forgot what we were thinking as we spun our brains out. Anyone who is stable enough to walk right off this ride when it ends is obviously doing it wrong.

We had been looking for a snack for some time now, but couldn’t find anything resembling a pretzel stand or turkey leg cart. Seeing no other apparent option, we figured we’d split a combo meal at one of the fast food places and went to the nearby Marionette Chalet.

Disneyland Paris had done well all day, but here the magic was finally gone. The restaurant itself was nice, as was the employee who took the order. But then the waiting began. I’m not sure if there people in front of me were catering banquets, or if the food preparers were blind, retarded monkeys, but I’ve had more speedy and efficient service at Six Flags! Really, that’s the only way I can put it. It’s one thing to charge an arm and a leg for mediocre food, but don’t make me lose out on time for rides because of shoddy service. Not cool, Disney, not cool.

So, with only time for the non-wait for Small World (and now nothing else in Fastasyland), we scarfed down half the meal, and hopped on while we finished the fries. I hate to break park rules, but I blame the park for making me do it. After the ride, we hustled over to Space Mountain and caught our fastpass window with about 2 minutes to spare. There we had about 10 minutes to digest before we were throttled about, but in somewhat of a good way.

With just about 20 minutes before closing, we were in no condition to try to cram in two more rides. This had been a long, tiring day, without even considering how we had been traipsing around Paris for 5 days already. Instead we soaked up the early evening and made our way to Thunder Mountain for one last ride as the sun began to set in the west. I really love this ride. It was another thrilling ride and a fitting end to the day.

Well, sort of end. We continued the slow pace as we hit practically each and every store down Main Street checking out the “Soldes” (a.k.a., Sales). There were a few deals to be found, though the triple hanging wall picture frames were anything but on sale. Too bad too, we had a nice idea of putting pictures of us in front of each of the three Disney castles we will have visited. Yea, we’re lame like that.

There were a few last pictures down Main Street back towards the castle, as the park finally started to light up. The 9pm closing time and 10pm sunset meant there wouldn’t be any night rides or views, but the park was beautiful approaching dusk anyway. We sadly said goodbye and went out the gates.

To raise our spirits in what might be a new “last day” tradition, we headed over to the Disney Village to enjoy one of the non-park Disney restaurants. Here there were plenty more shops, though I was much more interested in a drink. To grab one for the road we visited King Ludwig’s Castle, a Bavarian style restaurant and beer garden. I must say, the themeing and décor were as lavish as anything inside the parks, and it put a place like Medieval Times to shame. Plus we didn’t have to deal with that whole horse smell while eating. We had light fare, a sample of their authentic beers and I finally had that damn pretzel. It’s true, Bavarians know how to make a good pretzel.

And that was that, it had been a long but wonderful day. It’s so strange now to make a day trip to a Disney Park, but there was more to explore in Paris. Our visit was exactly what a expected, a lot of Disney fun, more stunning beauty than anything Disney does in the US, and just a little of that not-so-fun local European amusement park flair.

Oh, and the only reason this trip report doesn’t reek of post-Disney depression is because now we get to plan the week-long visit to Disney World we’ll be taking in January! Don’t worry, there will be plenty of other non-Disney park visits (and maybe some photos and trip reports) in between now and then, if only for perspective.

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